Squeezing the Toothpaste Tube from the Wrong End… Again!

I bumped into her when she was fuming with rage. You could say that she was trying to hide her anger under her carefully made-up face, but I saw it and I’m sure anyone else who met her during that hour would see it too. Funny how people try so hard to conceal emotions and those efforts turn out to be worthless in the end. Yes, she definitely was mad, even when she smiled sweetly and asked me how I was. I replied with the question, the usual question I use as an answer to anyone who I know, is wishing they could jump down the elevator shaft and hide there until they were back on track. ‘Are you ok?’ well that was my annoying question. But I just can’t help it. I guess nosiness is my weakness! After a brief ‘yes’ she pulled me to a corner and whispered. She told me her story. And her story began with squeezing a toothpaste tube from the wrong end… again!

They were so much in love. They met at a carnival or maybe in college or maybe at work, oh I can’t remember that bit of the story! Either way, they were so in love. They did everything together and it was almost ‘icky’ for an outsider to watch (No offence intended, I’m not a corny soul!). They held on to each other for four long years before they could get married at a grand hotel in Colombo. Well, now all of you surely know that this is about love and marriage and all of those things that the new age kids believe is pathetic. You are right! This is about marriage. But, an unfortunate failed marriage. When I heard the story, the couple married just for eight months was headed towards a separation. I’ve heard worse stories, but never such a silly story, because the end of their relationship started with a toothpaste tube.

He would wake up each morning and get ready for work. She would wake up and get the breakfast table ready. After she sent him off to work, she would get ready taking her own time (to look perfect of course), but never was she the same girl who walked into the bathroom, when she walked out. She walked in, tantalized by her husband’s handsomeness and kind-heart, but the moment she saw that toothpaste tube, she was bewildered. It was like seeing a monster! No matter how many times she whined about it, he had squeezed the toothpaste tube from the top again! How ridiculously disappointing! She tolerated the squeezing of the toothpaste tube for a week or two, especially when they were spending their honeymoon, but when the steam of the first days of the marriage had cooled off, she started seeing other things. He left the towel on the dressing table chair. Not just left it there, left it there all crumpled up! He never ate the carrots she served for dinner. How she toiled over pealing those carrots! He didn’t wipe the sink after he was done with the dishes. He left the containers in the kitchen half open. He burped loud. How could she not see this before??? She was married to an inconsiderate man! An irritating pig!

She had to correct him. So she would whine and yell each morning. One day she refused to come to bed with him, and another day, she refused to get out of bed, she refused to make breakfast and on the tenth or eleventh day, she went to her mother’s place complaining. What a ridiculous man had she married! He didn’t stop either. Every time she whined, he would whine too. (Oh sheesh, I’m imagining a man whine!) And of course, he started seeing things he never saw before! She was monstrous! She took his credit card without asking. She was a horrible cook. She failed to remove all the stains on the tiles when she cleaned them. Her taste in music was horrendous. Why had he married such a ridiculous woman! She wasn’t all that beautiful either!

Their whining lead to fights, loud, harsh fights that made him shove her to the wall once. To an outsider, their fights - that started silly and grew into suspicion about fidelity and made them gradually question their love and most importantly, their marriage - would seem comical. But it hurt them. Made the lady cry her eyes out and the man curse his guts off! Where had it all gone wrong? It was in the communication portal they had blocked (Maybe their love got stuffed in it!). If she had asked him to stop squeezing the toothpaste tube at the wrong end and told him about how it bothers her OCD mind, things would’ve been different. If he had thought twice before pushing her to the wall, they would still be together. Unfortunately some couples choose to fight and breakup, rather than talking about things like full-grown adults.

Well this isn’t the only story. I’ve heard tons of tales about cheaters and broken hearts, depression and poor kids caught in the middle, failures in work and studies, etc, etc – all these consequences of lack of communication and in turn, failed relationships. I do not wish to end this with a ton of advice that you will forget minutes after reading this and closing the page, I just wanted to share a story. Oh wait, next time you squeeze that toothpaste tube from the wrong end, think twice!

[Inspired by a true story]